A Dad's Letter to His Son's Broken Heart

...a son's broken heart

My Dearest Son,


Dad has always been looking out for you. Don’t ever think I wouldn’t find ways to comfort you... So I’m writing this to you. Like most parents do, I mostly wait for the time you’ll remember me in your happiest & in your worst because I would feel just the same or even thrice how you feel whenever you do. What I do know for now is that I am luckiest to have a son like you. True enough you are not perfect but in those imperfections, you’ve realized how much you actually need to improve yourself. You were never a failure to me or let alone have the worst choices in relationships as far as i know you think. Consider these that you’re going through a flip to the next few pages of your life, or another Chapter I’m looking forward to reading or hearing about whenever you call or chat.


Let’s talk about you being happy. I remember a shared post from a friend which said the happiest people are the givers, not the takers...so give a hug, a tap, a smile, a laugh—even your own time. If you’re hurt because you think things are different because you were over protective, you’re always supportive, you make better decisions or give that much security & affection to make her happy & none of these seemed to matter over the fact that you were dumped still, then it wasn’t love at all. Whatever it takes to make others feel you acknowledge their existence, do it without expecting anything in return - out from the passion & willingness to make others happy. That’s love. When you genuinely do, you know by heart what content means from the start. 


A man’s broken heart is a character in the making either he lets it dictate his Now or control his Tomorrow...Your choice. These are just many of the things that normally everyone else goes through...You just don’t know it because you are only focusing on your manly pride - getting what you want. In everything we do & for everything that happens — there is a lesson you must learn. It’s not about rejection or neglect or lack for the right words to say. It’s more about how you react to things the most acceptable way.


In any good relationship from maybe people a lot older than you, men & women trusted each other around their own circle of family & friends. This generation seems to do so but only through set expectations of do’s & don’ts feeding the unsettled insecurities of the heart & mind. No relationship will ever go forward with this.


Frank Ocean suggested that one must Never run back to the one that broke them. Accept it. Feeling at your worst, being frustrated & sorry may mean one thing —- Regret. So, don’t feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would never have given up on them. If this made you think otherwise why things are as bad as they are right now for you, it’s because there are better things to do with your time than think about what never sunk in your head. You feel all this time now that you are broken. Then be it. But look at how this should be: Life said, “I will make you strong, but first, I must break you.” Be broken several times over only to appreciate the beauty of every single shard or piece of you that made you play your role well — a wonderful person, a career-oriented employee, a big brother or even a loving son.


From what just happened to you, sometimes, you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do, because sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means so much to you, I am not teaching you ‘bout pride, I am talking about self-respect. Remember, life is short, spend it with people who make you feel appreciated & loved, not the ones who turn their back on you or the ones who are only around at your happiest. Invest in yourself & your own time. Learn new things & do great things with them so you can be a better version of yourself.


Even now that it hurts, you can be strong enough like you were before. A ship would forever wander aimlessly at sea unless it finds its anchor & settle down.  Here's a line from the TV series Teenwolf: “You will fall in love more than once. It will happen again. It will be just as amazing & extraordinary as the first time was & maybe just as painful but it will happen again. I promise. Until then, be your own anchor.” Anchor yourself to the things that make you feel good, not the ones that remind you of your worst.


I know moving forward takes time & can be a daunting process but YOU MUST take that risk. Go with the choice that scares you the most - “moving forward without her” because that’s the one that would help you grow. When we set ourselves apart from someone that used to be the cause of our greatest dreams, a part of us would hope to still remain. It’s a good step to consider but do think of what to do next because whenever you find lost in these troublesome quagmires, dad is always & forever gonna answer your call. We don’t always get what we want in life but be grateful for the things we already have--The ones who never left us. Take care of the ones who chose to stay with you when the going gets rough because for sure enough, they are the same ones who would stand right by you when the toughest things get going.


My son, remember this well: Value yourself, the people around you who actually care, and the opportunities you currently have right now because Once you carry your own water, you will learn the value of every single drop


Love Always & Forever,


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Human Resources. Personality Development. Social Psychology. Contemporary Writing.

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