The Risk of Falling in Love

Because of this pandemic, front liners especially those in the medical area are in danger. Most of them die for their work not for their family. No one wants to be in danger if we base it in human nature. Sacrifices and struggles are only options when there is no deeper commitment and devotion. Families are destroyed nowadays because commitments are not anymore necessary since the generation promotes that things are easily taken and thrown. People promise to stay but when difficult moments come, no one can sacrifice and stand. Courtships, friendships, and other relationships do not make sense because what is valued by most is the benefit they can get. Still some have proved that risk cannot be separated out of love.

Martin Hagglund said, "to see that what you love is finite and to see the finitude of what you love is part of why you love it." By desire we initiate to serve someone or something in exchange for their trust, but when we know their limitations, discouragement simply subsides. Courtships are so romantic but when lovers enter the life of family, fashioned stars and moon become a facial ornament because of quarrels and disagreements leading physical hurt and harassment. Sweet chocolates and red roses fill the sweetness of the day that never ends, but suddenly when they know each other's flaws, bitterness ruins the scene. One becomes used that s/ he cannot sense the meaning of why s/ he stays because his/ her friend or partner has weaknesses and flaws. On the other hand, few persons valued authenticity and loyalty ins spite imperfections they found in their relationship. C.S Lewis struggled with his wife Joy Davidman suffering with cancer. Some parents are stuck to sacrifice their time tending their attention to their ill and disordered children like those in mental illness and physical disease. An old man where I stay bear his wife's cruelty for forty years. Caring and concern do not choose something better and perfect. To recognize the limitations and weakness of the object of love is part of why we devoted to it. The moment we decide to love is the time to open ourselves to risk. Couples and friendships are terminated easily because of difficulties. Few people bear to stay in hard moments because they may share and part of their love one's finitude or limitation. To be part of our love one's limitation is a reason why we are born. We did not choose to be born but suddenly we became conscious that we are part of a particular family. If we are not in a family, our consciousness emerged with the people we can possibly love. We struggle to survive with people but our nature urged us to relate with a human person. In relating, we do some sacrifices just to earn their favor. When favor is earned, by nature we become comfortable that relationship becomes odd and boring for a couple of years because true identity is not that we have have expected to be. When we choose to accept, we open ourselves to risk because this is the moment that we decide to love considering our fellow's weakness and limitations.

For love to be real: it must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self. This is a famous line of Mother Theresa of Calcutta. I remember my professor telling me that he gave himself to care for his children because he created them and he has nothing to do but to love them and care for them as he sacrifices raising them. My mother did everything for me to finish my studies and even this time she bears to take care of me. I have a friend who shared an organ to his brother to be alive. There is a mother who let herself be burned and died in covering her baby in a burning field. Loving the person whom we care and concern involves suffering and pain. When we love because we want to make ourselves comfortable is desire and selfishness because we think of ourselves.

For Karl Ove Knausgaard, to love is to own that we love what we love. This statement is deep but It only asserts responsibility. I love theology and I find myself doing theological and scientific research how boring may it be. I love my teaching that is why I also own the difficulty in handling the attitude of my students. By accepting responsibility, I open myself to vulnerability. I don't have to expect of green pasture but hell to live because I have chosen to be devoted and committed. A relative said, "if you really love your family in your place, don't go home until the crisis is done." The love of my parents and the people who care and concern for me brought me home how hard it may be. My love ones risked for me because they wanted me to be safe. They made a response that I may not die of hunger and disease because the virus is prevalent in the place where I work. Responsibility is not just doing something but it is committing and devoting oneself to sustain life of the persons that we care. Life can never be replaced that is why we take responsibility in building and initiating to promote social justice to protect the rights and dignity to preserve the vitality of everyone. To be responsible is to take the risk of carrying the pain and danger as one sacrifices by opening the self to vulnerability.

Not to risk is to be fallen out of love. Promises are often times broken because one cannot accept the responsibility inherent in his/ her decision to love by commitment and devotion. True love entails struggle as one sustains the life of the persons that s/ he cares about. It is easy to take the first level but to be included in the storms of the journey of our love ones is another. Risking in the virtue of responsibility makes our love meaningful as we value the life of the persons whom we concern and care about.

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