Yesterday I read Emily Griffin’s Something Borrowed and it got me thinking, where do our loyalties really lie? The story is about a girl who hooks up with her childhood best friend’s fiancé and like you might have guessed, it doesn’t sit well with the bride to be. And, it begs the question, between our best friends who mind you, have ranked up to family level and our selfish quests to find happiness against all odds, which fate do you choose? To have a friend to lean on when in need, or to go after your supposedly soul mate? You might think that you can sneak around but walls have ears, Sarah will learn the details of your precious little secret and you will have to make a tough choice. You cannot have both worlds because life is anything but fair. Although, hooking up with your friend’s ancient ex is one thing and marrying their ex fiancé is another. But suffice to say, it often yields the same results. Your friend will never forgive you, it is the ultimate betrayal. Because let’s face facts, it’s against girl code to have the tiniest feelings for a boy your married bff dated many moons ago in kindergarten.
I recall having a similar discussion with my girlfriends in college. Most of us agreed that it is them bitches that always have your back. They are the ones who time after time, pick and mend the broken pieces of you after a messy break up and listen to your daily life drama tirelessly with an empathetic ear. So in all honesty, as a woman's woman, from the deepest depths of your heart, would you really choose short lived happiness over a rare and true friendship? On the other hand, the definition of a friend is someone who selflessly wants you to be happy. That person should be able to acknowledge that she let go of that man or boy because they were not right for each other. She obviously did not expect him to be miserable after the break up or pursue priesthood. There is a chance you and her ex are a match made in heaven. So really, your friend Sarah should get off her high horse and get used to you arranging double dates with her and her boyfriend Ben. Because God forbid should you spend majority of your life tiptoeing and like it's often said, all is fair in love and war.
My opinion?
I cannot exactly be described as the prototype of good behavior but even I know that in a situation like this, logic wins. Friend soul mates are special and if you are lucky to find a handful of them, never let a boy terminate your friendship. One might be led to believe it's love, because the male species are truly gifted in saying the right things and having us planning weddings in our heads from the moment we make eye contact with them. But how about, for clarity, we revisit the definition of love and if it comes close to the mark, one can follow her heart:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "
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