How you can SURVIVE a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
At some point in our lives, there are sacrifices we have to make. Challenges we need to face. In most cases, we dare call ourselves husbands, wives, lovers (however you guys now call it) because we are up for the challenge. To be able to fully cement the home we have built, we make hard decisions. Decisions that are not easy but necessary. So when it comes, we need to build our nest from afar. So…
Don’t dare a long distance relationship IF YOU CAN’T:
STAY AS SWEET
If you can’t stay as sweet or even sweeter, then you might throw away what you have built; This is going to be a one sided relationship. It’s going to be that the other becomes miserable because of the strong desire to keep the relationship alive; Or the relationship falls into a dark pit keeping lovers apart each day. Till you reach each other no more like you never happened. SSweetness is that sticky goo that only lovers can understand. Something others may raise a brow with, but who cares! (Certainly it’s not the public display I’m referring to.)
INDULGE YOUR PARTNER WITH SURPRISE CALLS
Other than messages, it is going to come that your partner would surely need to hear your voice. It would be too rude not to give in. Care has to be translated in varied forms. The more variety you cook, the stronger the concoction and the more stable the relationship becomes regardless of the distance. Being connected always does the trick! Though they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, well then let’s nurture such a longing heart. Let each other know that you have conquered the distance maybe not entirely true but it’s your disposition that shall save both of you.
BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR PARTNER’S MESSAGES
There are times that your partner may not say exactly what he/she wants to avoid sounding too demanding. This expression maintains the thrill and the freshness of relationships. In doing so, sweetness is preserved. Sweetness and “demanding” do not necessarily go together, which is why the other may not want to ask so much of you but this doesn’t mean you don’t have to do a thing too. This means only that you be sensitive to your partner’s needs; it could be hidden through gestures, furrowed foreheads, droopy shoulders, twinkling eyes, sweet or fake smiles… Oh you know what I mean! Just because nothing is said, doesn’t mean there is nothing to do.
APPRECIATE SWEET NOTHINGS
Yeah, little sweet nothings… the very thing married couples usually take for granted. Such tiny strings embellished a relationship to maintain the spark of the bond. The tiny little strings we often ignore. Sweet nothings… they’re never expensive… yet, they are the very spice that paints the thing called LOVE… Childish! I know but we become children when in love, don’t we?. The child in us is awakened the moment we decide to mark ourselves as lovers.
FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN YOUR PARTNER WANTS ATTENTION
When we have found the “one”, we may at some point become children. Children who seek attention. Children who live within adults who are in love. It is our rightful duty to nourish the child within because if we can’t, we have no right to fall in love. When you see past that child then you are one lousy lover. Our ego should always come at the tail of the queue when it comes to the one we love.
TELL IF YOUR PARTNER NEEDS ATTENTION
When you dared marry the person you love or at least tied yourself with the one you love, you must at some point have mastered all his/her quirks (- intriguing to others but something you must have accepted). You must know just by the speech pattern (MESSAGE PATTERN in your case) whenever she/he needs to hear something sweet; a pat on the shoulders; a kiss; a hug; a call… yes, a CALL. All of us at some point in our lives seek attention from the one we love; especially the one we long for. If you are indeed the right person, then you must know when that happens. If you are still the right person.
DEFEND YOUR PARTNER TO OTHER PEOPLE’S JUDGMENT
Never ever..ever… during a fight… that you are going to tell her/him how other people (your colleagues) thought how the other looks or how they think about the other… That is utterly rude… And RUDE is like a poison arrow that pierces into her/his heart. Even if you hurriedly take it back, the sting lingers… it lingers… and in some instances, for women, it makes them cry often… True gentlemen can’t afford their damsel in distress lying around in tears. Men on the other hand, may not shed tears but could mope around and end up drinking or worse may find another who can take care of their ego better. Women must also learn to take care of their man’s ego. Well, it takes two to tango, ain’t it?
MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIS/HER LOOKS
When you are away your partner may try to look her/his best to get your attention (Well, that is still very much possible with Facebook). Other people of course are going to notice that first because obviously you are away. Now, if you just don’t comment, it’s exceedingly devastating… you harshly told him/her without saying that you don’t care… You just made him or her desperate for your approval... This is going to be really hurting and emotionally exhausting. When your love feels good about herself or himself regardless of their looks, be proud. In case, you don’t know, you are that very reason. When your love doesn’t carry an ounce of self-esteem, you can also start asking yourself: Is there something I did or did not do?
LISTEN… JUST LISTEN
When you tell your partner you are listening and she/he keeps telling you to listen, then you are obviously not listening… It simply means shut up and listen, no matter how senseless and childish the staggering speech may be (in most cases women)… wait for your cue; That is when she has already poured out all the emotions she’s been keeping inside. When the storm has passed, start your speech in a very lovable and understanding tone… if you still think it’s childish and senseless… Think again!… Why did you put yourself in this relationship in the first place?
BE FRAGILE IN THE FACE OF YOUR LOVE
For men, posing a strong character and physique is very attractive. But being fragile especially when you and your partner are alone is even more attractive. It gives both of you a boost to elevate your relationship. Ease away pretensions when you’re alone; You can always be the strong-willed man or woman in the eyes of others but fragile for the one you love. It is most helpful if you can spot moments when you can express the sweetness in public (not necessarily the oozing public display of affection– which many may not approve of). It puts your partner in ecstasy. It is incomparable to other fleeting emotions. This emotion is comparable to being defended in the face of the prejudice the world can ever throw at you.
The moment you realize you are NOT up for the challenge, COME HOME. Or you’ll lose what you have painstakingly built. If you think you can’t do all these then, COME HOME. Come home before the other becomes numb. Before what you have built crumbles into pieces you can never put together ever again.