He reeks of alchol, the shebeen has become his home, he spends his money there with his lovers and when I confront him he says I am bitter, his right, I am bitter. When his out there spending our money, I am here looking after his children, the ones he first denied and called me all sorts of names but today calls them his pride and joy because they look like him. It's Friday night, I did expect him to come home drunk, I did expect people to bring him home in a wheelbarrow, I also did expect him to come with blood stains but I didn't expect him to come home, our home with a woman.
They are drunk and are calling each other "love", there is familiarity in both their voices when they speak to each other, in the way they look at each other even the way they hold each other's hands. For a minute I wish all this is a dream, I pinish myself and when it hurts, I know I am not dreaming, I know what I've feared all these years is finally happening. All these years I feared him loving someone but me, I feared him leaving me for someone else, all my fears are playing like a movie before me. I watch them walk into the kitchen still holding hands, he reeks of alchol and her cheap perfume, he calls my name but I do not reply, he calls my name for the second time and annoyed I answer, "what the hell is happening here? " - I know what is happening, I know he loves someone else, that his been in love with someone but me for a while now but I want him to look me in the eye and confirm it. "phaka mfazi", he lets go of her hand and points at the pots on the two plate stove.
INow we're all standing in the kitchen, she's avoiding eye contact, that's what guilt does, it sometimes doesn't allow you to look at the person you've wronged in the eye. "I've brought you someone to help you with duties around the house", he says smiling, he looks pleased and proud of himself. "Do you still remember there are kids in this house?", we have three children together and the oldest is sleeping in the lounge, for years his been promising us that he would extend our four room house. "wake them up and tell them they have a new mother", he looks at her and they both smile. I ask myself if this woman is sane, why would she allow to be treated so cheap maybe it's the alchol that is clouding her judgment or maybe they had planned this this time and today was execution day maybe their plan was being executed accordingly and they were pleased with themselves. I ask myself a lot of questions, I ask myself what she has that I don't.
You must be logged in to post a comment.